Saturday, 6:32 a.m. (CDT). Emergency call on residential street. White stuff everywhere. Still.
Two neighborhood volunteers responded. Confirmed that white stuff is everywhere. Grass has totally disappeared. Volunteer responder tasted white stuff. Reported that it tastes like water, only colder. Hooman assistant got cold and insisted on premature return to station.
6:35 a.m. (CDT). Emergency call terminated.