A Message from Mr. P. Nut Squirrel


NASHVILLE, TN. The following is press release from Mr. P. Nut Squirrel, Candidate for President of the Back Yard, Rodent Party.

After careful scrutiny of the DNA documents, I admit that my opponent’s Vice Presidential Candidate, Arya, is eligible to serve on the ticket. I can, in fact, testify to her terrier roots due to the fact that she chases me off the porch every chance she can get.

I have, in fact, been unable, for many days, to approach the porch to give my statement. Since the Installation of the Evil Dog Door, my constituents have been chased and harassed at every turn. I reiterate my campaign promise to Build a Wall — A Strong and Tall Wall — between my people and the Dog Door.

And, further, since I have been forced to contribute $100 dollars to a Puppy Charity, I insist that the owners of the Dog Door should pay for the Wall that will protect the deck from Arya’s never-ending harassment.

I, Mr. P. Nut Squirrel, would like to personally thank Tracy, the owner and proprietor of Camp Tracy, for her generous invitation to host the Puppy Party’s Candidates for several days of campaigning and recreation at her fine establishment. My people have been enjoying unfettered access to the deck during their absence. Tracy, please keep Jack and Arya as long as you would like to. Or even longer would be Very Good.

Thank you for your time and attention.

Mr. P. Nut Squirrel
Candidate for President of the Back Yard, Rodent Party

5 Responses

  1. theguster

    Much of this entire campaign reminds us of something we’ve heard already and we’re not sure why! The complaints, accusations, promises and rebutall from both sides all have such a familiar ring to it, has anybody else noticed? Hmmmm… it really has us shaking our heads and tails! What would this be considered, art imitating life or life imitating art?

    Well, as we get closer to the election of President of The Backyard, things will surely heat up and, no doubt, sway any undecided voters, which is difficult to imagine there even could be!

    ****JACK & ARYA 2016****

    McDuff & Mom

  2. Deborah Maria

    Indeed! As McDuff & Mom note, Mr. P Nutt’s words have a certain tired sameness…like I’ve heard them somewhere. At least the P is not questioning lovely Arya’s birth circumstances any longer.

    Jack and Arya’s time of respite and romping at Camp Tracy indubitably provided time for fine-tuning their campaign. Both should be full of energy (no doubt about Arya!) and TREATS to hit the trail toward election day. I look forward to learning the voting procedure.

    Walls. Won’t he stop already? When has a wall ever done any good? Oh…a short little garden wall can be pretty but anything more is UNinviting.

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