The Other Debate

IMG_4295NASHVILLE, TN. Pundits report that the first Back Yard Presidential Debate was a complete failure. Jack the Scottie, Puppy Party Candidate, faced off with Mr. P. Nut Squirrel, Rodent Party Candidate, in the first of three debates.

Footage of the debate is not available. Mice had burrowed into the cameras of WPUP, the media outlet with exclusive access to the proceedings. Puppy Party officials cried, “Sabotage!!” Rodent party officials pointed to the need for a warm place for rodents to spend the winter. “It looked like the ideal place for a mouse family,” claimed one party official. “After all, the pups have a warm house to live in. We rodents are stuck outside all year long!”

The debate was to have been moderated by animal enthusiast, Dr. Ida Love Creatures. Ms. Creatures, a frequent contributor to Sunday morning news shows on WPUP, said that the focus of the first debate was to have been the security of the back yard.

As Dr. Creature was in the process of framing her first question, Vice-Presidential Candidate, Arya the Porch Dog, leaped through the dog door and chased Mr. Squirrel off the podium. Mr. Squirrel refused to return to the stage and, instead, sat in the tree overhanging the deck, scolding the moderator and opposing candidate. He also attempted to drop nuts onto the heads of unsuspecting members of the press core.

A Rodent Party official released the following statement. “Mr. Squirrel will not compete in any future debates unless we receive assurance that the Puppy Party Vice Presidential candidate will be kept inside the house.”

Puppy Party officials apologized for the misunderstanding. Vice Presidential Candidate, Arya, claimed that she heard someone mention “squirrels” and was just enthusiastically leaving the house to investigate. Jack the Scottie remained silent on the event.

Ms. Creature, when interviewed, said, “I love these puppies and squirrels. I’m just certain that things will work out better next time. And isn’t Jack just the most lovely dog you have ever seen?”

14 Responses

  1. moonovermountain

    Love it! I’ve heard that SNL is supposed to be good tonight. No doubt will do much around the debate. Will have to record it since I can’t stay awake that late anymore. 😕 I’ve been thinking of you and hoping things there at work are at least tolerable. I really think you and Jenny need to come up for a visit! Pups can come too! We have a guestroom. We can always put the cats in our bedroom.

    Sending love your way… Sharon

    Sent from my iPhone


  2. theguster

    Now this is a debate I wish I could have watched! It’s sounds more exciting than the one on T.V. the other night! I hope the second Backyard Presidential Debate goes smoothly. There is a lot at stake here and it’s imperative that Jack and Arya win this election.

    McDuff & Mom

  3. It is clear that Jack and his running mate Arya have very different temperaments… I can definitely see trouble ahead in the event that Jack becomes unable to serve and Arya becomes President of the backyard… Unfortunately Arya is beginning to remind me of another presidential candidate who seems unable to control his impulses to go after those he dislikes… I am sure this will not sit well with the Arya admirers out there in cyber space, but … 🙂

  4. Deborah Maria

    The intrigue of this campaign continues – and the drama and the fantasy! I read this WPUP report with mouth-dropped-open. I wasn’t sure whether to bark or hoot.

    Ah, that Jack. Strong, silent type. Dr. Ida Love is right: so elegant – while Arya does the foot work (read: runs in circles).

    What WILL the next month hold???

      1. Exhausted, you and the rest of your hooman followers… and given this weeks revelations, I withdraw my comment that Arya was reminding me of another candidate, There is no comparison (unless there is dog park misbehavior we have not heard about) but I continue to have concerns about Arya’s understanding of what makes for security in the backyard… Perhaps you need to enroll Arya in a Sunday School where they teach about God’s love for everyone and how everyone brings gifts to the backyard not just the dogs…

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