NASHVILLE, TN. Jack the Scottie, President of the Back Yard, committed a grave diplomatic error today when he peed on the shoe of an admirer. As onlookers glared (the one with the wet shoe) and laughed hysterically (the owner of the wet shoe’s spouse), Jack exited the park in the arms of his handler/driver.
In the analysis of the incident, it was noted that the admirer’s dog, an Australian shepherd, had placed himself between Jack and the couple. “I’d say it was a territorial statement to the Aussie,” a dog park expert opined.
“The presidential entourage had nearly completed the dog park circuit,” reported the handler. “Jack seemed very happy. It was his first trip to the dog park in months. And he looked really good — he had a bath and a hair cut.”
“I saw him leave the sidewalk. He went to a couple who had brought their lawn chairs and were sitting there enjoying the day and watching the dogs. (He often does that. He’s such a social fellow.)
“The people were petting him and talking with him. And then their dog came running up and stood between Jack and the people. And that’s when it happened. He just walked right over and lifted his leg.”
After that, the handler reported, “all heck broke loose.” Jack was swept up in the arms of the staff and rushed to the car.
Vice-President Arya took it all in stride, “That’s not the first time he’s done that. But he wasn’t a President last time.”
It is not known whether Dog Park Sanctions will be imposed. Jack’s spokesperson released this statement: “We hope that the Dog Park officials will be reasonable in their response. After all, it was only one shoe that was moistened.”