Jack and Arya, You’ve Got Mail!


Dear Diary,

Mr. Squirrel is not the only one who is bad at writing Thank You Notes. Our Mom is, too. We got The Best Package from our Auntie in Oregon and Mom still hasn’t written our Thank You Note.

The Package had Fun Stuff for our Moms. And even Treats for them. (They never get treats like we do.) And we got some New Clothes in the package. Jack got a raincoat and I got a sweater. We like our Auntie in Oregon. She has Lots and Lots of Cats. We would like to play with her cats. (Well, my brother would just like to chase them. I would like to play with them.)

This is a video of us sniffing the new clothes.

Jack can’t wait for it to rain so he can try out his new raincoat.

I think Hoomans are Very Nice. Especially the Hoomans Who Like Dogs. (And Cats. And even Squirrels.) Mom says The World would be a better place if there were more Hoomans Who Like Dogs. (And Cats. And even Squirrels.)

Until Next Time. Love,

Mr. Squirrel, You’ve Got Mail!


Dear Diary,

Mr. P. Nut Squirrel got A Package at our house this week. It came in The Mail. We like The Mail. Every day, we go to Check the Mail in the front yard. Then we come back in the house and Get A Treat!

A Package was in the mailbox. And when Mom opened it, we saw that it was for Mr. P. Nut Squirrel from his relatives in Colorado. They went on a Big Trip to Minnesota and sent Mr. Squirrel a present.

Jack and I sniffed it and there was not Anything To Eat. So we gave it to Mr. P. Nut Squirrel and he put it in his house up in the tree in the Back Yard.

I like Mr. Squirrel. We play Lots and Lots of games. My favorite one is Chase. He comes onto the back porch and I Chase him off.

Until next time. Love,

P.S. Mr. Squirrel is not very good at writing Thank You Notes. I hope his cousins will understand. ❤

Breaking News: Dog Park Gaffe


NASHVILLE, TN. Jack the Scottie, President of the Back Yard, committed a grave diplomatic error today when he peed on the shoe of an admirer. As onlookers glared (the one with the wet shoe) and laughed hysterically (the owner of the wet shoe’s spouse), Jack exited the park in the arms of his handler/driver.

In the analysis of the incident, it was noted that the admirer’s dog, an Australian shepherd, had placed himself between Jack and the couple. “I’d say it was a territorial statement to the Aussie,” a dog park expert opined.

“The presidential entourage had nearly completed the dog park circuit,” reported the handler. “Jack seemed very happy. It was his first trip to the dog park in months. And he looked really good — he had a bath and a hair cut.”

“I saw him leave the sidewalk. He went to a couple who had brought their lawn chairs and were sitting there enjoying the day and watching the dogs. (He often does that. He’s such a social fellow.)

“The people were petting him and talking with him. And then their dog came running up and stood between Jack and the people. And that’s when it happened. He just walked right over and lifted his leg.”

After that, the handler reported, “all heck broke loose.” Jack was swept up in the arms of the staff and rushed to the car.

Vice-President Arya took it all in stride, “That’s not the first time he’s done that. But he wasn’t a President last time.”

It is not known whether Dog Park Sanctions will be imposed. Jack’s spokesperson released this statement: “We hope that the Dog Park officials will be reasonable in their response. After all, it was only one shoe that was moistened.”


Neighborhood Patrol


Saturday, 6:32 a.m. (CDT). Morning rounds.

Unidentified objects reported. Emergency personnel approached carefully.

Bulbous in nature, the intruders seemed harmless. Objects carefully sniffed and left in place. Personnel will keep watch on the situation.

Saturday, 6:38 a.m. (CDT). Emergency status terminated.