Dear Diary

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Dear Diary,

Some Really Big Things have happened here.

One day Jack left to go for a ride in the car. But He Didn’t Come Home. Mom cried a whole lot. I Licked Her And She Let Me!!!!!

That Very Same Day, I lost my collar. She said, “Where is Your collar? Did Jack take it to show Spec?”

Mom said, “Want to ride in the car?” We went to A Pet Store. There were lots and lots of smells there. There were People And Dogs walking around the store. Mom got me a new collar and Jingly Tags.

Every day, Mom takes me for a walk. Just her and me. We go Very Very far where I have never been before. We go Very Fast and we walk for a long time. I like long walks.

At night, mom tells me to sleep by her. I like sleeping by her. It keeps my nose warm. She said, “Arya, you got a promotion to #1 bed warmer.”

Every day is Very Quiet now. Except when Sweetie, the dog next door, comes outside. She always barks, “Hey! I am here! I am here!” And then I run outside through the door and I bark, “Hey! I am here, too!”

I miss Jack.

Until next time.

Love, Arya

Dear Diary. The Tail.

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Dear Diary.

There was This Tail. It belonged to Jack. But he left it right there in front of me. Right above the bed where I was sleeping.

I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t help myself. I couldn’t resist.

But every time I moved closer to The Tail, Mom sounded Very Angry. I would never hurt The Tail. But I wanted to pull it Just A Little Bit.

Then Jack moved. And The Tail moved, too. Oh Well. Maybe next time.

Love,
Arya

Dear Diary

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Dear Diary,

Today she put The Coat on me. I thought it was Gone 4 Ever. But Now it’s Back.

The Shame. The Humiliation. Jack did not have to wear The Coat. Just Me!

My ancestors Never wore garments. They were Mighty in Bravery in all kinds of situations.

Why does she Torture me So?

Until Next Time.

Love,
Arya

Dear Diary, I Took a DNA Test

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Dear Diary,

I love it when Mom laughs. That’s what she did when she read the instructions for the DNA test. 

I don’t know what DNA means. I think probably it means Do Not Attack. It would make more sense if it meant Do Not Bark (DNB) or Do Not Jump (DNJ). That’s what Hoomans say to me most of the time.

Oh, I forgot what I was Saying. Mom opened the DNA test and read The Directions. “Open sterile packaging. Swab inside the dog’s mouth between gums and cheek for 15 seconds. Do this for each of two swabs. Let sample dry before mailing in return packaging.”

Mom laughed and laughed. She giggled out things like, “Oh, my! (He He!) Swab the dog’s cheek?! How about, Chase the dog around the house and retrieve swab from dog’s grip. (Ha Ha!) Or Return mangled swabs for full refund. (He He He He!!!)”

She Forgot how brave I Am! Mom2 held me still while Mom put the Stick Thingie in my mouth. It tickled but it did not hurt. The DNA went in the Mail. Mom says when we hear from the DNA People we will know my Heritage and Mr. P. Nut Squirrel will let me run for Vice President. (I don’t know what that is either but I’ll figure it out.)

Until next time.

Love,
Arya

P.S. I think I am an Irish Wolfhound. I feel kind of Wolfy nearly every day!!!

Dear Diary. Love, Arya.

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Dear Diary,

The Best Thing has happened!! There is a New Invention that has come to our house. It is called A Dog Door. It is just for Dogs Like Me to go In and Out of the House.

A Man came two weeks ago. When he left, then we had The New Dog Door. It was The Best Day of My Life. I went In and Out and In and Out and Out and In. When I don’t feel like going all the way out, I can peek out the door.

I like to Run Outside and Scare the Squirrels off My Deck. Mom says it makes me very tired by bed time. Mom closes the door at night. But that’s ok because I am Asleep then, anyway.

I love My Dog Door.

Until next time.

Love,
Arya