Dear Diary, I Took a DNA Test

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Dear Diary,

I love it when Mom laughs. That’s what she did when she read the instructions for the DNA test. 

I don’t know what DNA means. I think probably it means Do Not Attack. It would make more sense if it meant Do Not Bark (DNB) or Do Not Jump (DNJ). That’s what Hoomans say to me most of the time.

Oh, I forgot what I was Saying. Mom opened the DNA test and read The Directions. “Open sterile packaging. Swab inside the dog’s mouth between gums and cheek for 15 seconds. Do this for each of two swabs. Let sample dry before mailing in return packaging.”

Mom laughed and laughed. She giggled out things like, “Oh, my! (He He!) Swab the dog’s cheek?! How about, Chase the dog around the house and retrieve swab from dog’s grip. (Ha Ha!) Or Return mangled swabs for full refund. (He He He He!!!)”

She Forgot how brave I Am! Mom2 held me still while Mom put the Stick Thingie in my mouth. It tickled but it did not hurt. The DNA went in the Mail. Mom says when we hear from the DNA People we will know my Heritage and Mr. P. Nut Squirrel will let me run for Vice President. (I don’t know what that is either but I’ll figure it out.)

Until next time.

Love,
Arya

P.S. I think I am an Irish Wolfhound. I feel kind of Wolfy nearly every day!!!

Dear Diary. Love, Arya.

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Dear Diary,

The Best Thing has happened!! There is a New Invention that has come to our house. It is called A Dog Door. It is just for Dogs Like Me to go In and Out of the House.

A Man came two weeks ago. When he left, then we had The New Dog Door. It was The Best Day of My Life. I went In and Out and In and Out and Out and In. When I don’t feel like going all the way out, I can peek out the door.

I like to Run Outside and Scare the Squirrels off My Deck. Mom says it makes me very tired by bed time. Mom closes the door at night. But that’s ok because I am Asleep then, anyway.

I love My Dog Door.

Until next time.

Love,
Arya

Dear Diary

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Dear Diary,

Mom said that Today is International Women’s Day. I don’t know what that is, but it’s Very Important. She said that I am a Female and she is, too. But Jack Is Not. So this is Not a Special Day for him!!!

I have been helping Mom in the back yard. I like to chew up sticks. Mom said I could Start a Business called Arya’s Mulching Service. She said People could Hire Me. I like chewing. 

Mom made a video for my New Business. 

  
Mom said I should Celebrate Females today and Other People can, too. 

Until next time.

Love,
Arya

Arya’s Thundershirt Review

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Mom got me something called a Thundershirt  She says I have Anxiety. 

The first time she put it on me, I was sort of Scared. But then I got Very Sleepy. 

  
WHENEVER SHE TAKES IT OFF ME, I RUN AND JUMP AND CHEW ON MY BROTHER. I BARK AND CHASE MY TAIL. 

But when she puts it back on me, I want to Sit On Someone. My Mom, My Brother, anyone. 

OFF. on. OFF. on. OFF. on.

  
Mom says The Thundershirt Is Working. I Still Don’t Like to put it on. But Mom doesn’t Holler at me as much when I wear it.  She says, Good Dog, and lets me Snuggle. 

You should get a Thundershirt if you like to Snuggle. 

Dear Diary

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Dear Diary,

Recently we went on a Ride in the Car called a Family Vacation. The ride was longer than the ride to The Vet and even longer than the ride to The Dog Park. It took a Really Long Time.

Mom put my bed in the back seat of the car, but I felt safer with my brother.

We went to see my cousin Diva who is A Really Big Dog called a Greyhound.

Diva was almost as fast as me when I ran in the backyard, so I went under the car. She couldn’t get under there.

One time, she let me play with one of her toys. But mostly I wasn’t supposed to touch her toys. She is the Top Dog at her house.

We played and walked and played and walked. Lots of different people went on walks with me. It was Fun.

I got Very Tired.

On the last night there, I got to sleep on the Hooman’s Bed All Night! It was the Best Night of My Life!!!!!!!

Then we came Home with another Really Long Ride in the Car. I am glad to be Home.

Until next time,
Arya