Saturday, 6:32 a.m. (CDT). Morning rounds. Back yard intruder. Emergency personnel approached loudly and carefully. Supervisor called emergency personnel to return to post and leave intruder alone. Emergency personnel ignored supervisor until Treats were promised. Saturday, 6:38 a.m. (CDT). Emergency status terminated.
Neighborhood Patrol
Saturday, 6:32 a.m. (CDT). Emergency call on residential street. White stuff everywhere. Still. Two neighborhood volunteers responded. Confirmed that white stuff is everywhere. Grass has totally disappeared. Volunteer responder tasted white stuff. Reported that it tastes like water, only colder. Hooman assistant got cold and insisted on premature return to station. 6:35 a.m. (CDT). Emergency […]
Neighborhood Watch: Halloween Edition
Saturday, 6:32 p.m. (CDT). Emergency call on residential street. Foreign object on a mail box. One neighborhood volunteer responded. Object approached from all sides. Object gently sniffed. Object did not sniff back. 6:35 p.m. (CDT). Emergency call terminated.
Neighborhood Patrol
Saturday, 6:32 a.m. (CDT). Emergency call on residential street. Alien presence in a front yard. Two neighborhood volunteers responded. Foreign objects barked at thoroughly. No response. Continued watching recommended. 6:35 a.m. (CDT). Emergency call terminated. Monday, 6:32 a.m. (CDT). Emergency call on residential street. Foreign objects in a yard, disturbing the normality of […]
Neighborhood Patrol
6:32 p.m. (CDT). Emergency call on side street. Foreign object reported in the road. Two neighborhood volunteers responded. Foreign object thoroughly sniffed. Deemed to be harmless. No further action required. 6:35 p.m. (CDT). Emergency call terminated.
Jack the Scottie 