Dear Diary, Love, Mom


Dear Diary,

I might be getting to old for these neighborhood patrol duties. The other day, I had to rescue the dadgum possum in the back yard – again. This was the second possum rescue in two months. (At least this one was in the afternoon and not at 5:30 a.m.)

I was alerted by my neighborhood patrol colleagues that there was an intruder in the back yard. Why the possum chose to take a stroll across the yard in the middle of the afternoon, I have no idea.

Jack and Arya had the possum surrounded on the path and were barking to wake the napping. Jack was creeping closer and closer — and my calls for them to come to me were totally ignored.

The possum was not playing dead — she had her head up and was showing her teeth. I could just imagine her biting one of them. So I came up behind Jack and grabbed him by the tail. I pulled him to me, picked him up, and hightailed it for the back yard gate. Once the two canines were with me on the house side of the gate, I closed it so the possum could continue wherever she was going.

Someone told me later that possums eat lots and lots of ticks. If so, I’m grateful to her. But I don’t want any more possum rescues. Please, Ms. Possum. Stay out of the back yard. And please, Jack and Arya, no more possum hunting!


An Apology


Dear Diary,

Mom says we owe An Apology To The Neighborhood for all the barking this morning.

We went out in the back yard and there was A Varmint there. Right in Our Back Yard. Right in The Ground

We barked and barked. Jack even ran down into the back yard.

Then Mom had to slide down the hill in her PJs and tell us to “Be Quiet!!!” And “Come Here!!!”

Mom said “Thank Goodness It Wasn’t a Skunk!!!”

Mom closed the gate so it can get away.

We need a nap now. After breakfast.

Until next time.

Love, Arya

Neighborhood Patrol


Saturday, 6:32 a.m. (CDT). Morning rounds.

Unidentified objects reported. Emergency personnel approached carefully.

Bulbous in nature, the intruders seemed harmless. Objects carefully sniffed and left in place. Personnel will keep watch on the situation.

Saturday, 6:38 a.m. (CDT). Emergency status terminated.

Neighborhood Watch: Nearly-Dark, Bag-of-Leaves Edition


Thursday, 6:32 p.m. (CST). Emergency call.

Unusual round thingie reported on the side of the street. Two responders called to the scene.

Rounding a parked car, Responder Arya jumped two feet off the ground, raised her hackles, and began to sound the alarm.

Barking continued for several minutes. Strange round thingie never moved.

Thursday, 6:38 p.m. (CST). Emergency status terminated.

Pups on Patrol



Even in the midst of debate season, the work of the neighborhood watch continues for the candidates.

Sunday, 6:32 a.m. (CDT). Morning rounds.

Debris field in neighbors yard. Two responders on the scene.

Alarm was sounded by Junior Officer. Debris field was thoroughly assessed and determined that it was stable.

Neighborhood watch will keep an eye on the situation in coming days.

Sunday, 6:38 a.m. (CDT). Emergency status terminated.