Dear Diary, I Took a DNA Test

Dear Diary,

I love it when Mom laughs. That’s what she did when she read the instructions for the DNA test. 

I don’t know what DNA means. I think probably it means Do Not Attack. It would make more sense if it meant Do Not Bark (DNB) or Do Not Jump (DNJ). That’s what Hoomans say to me most of the time.

Oh, I forgot what I was Saying. Mom opened the DNA test and read The Directions. “Open sterile packaging. Swab inside the dog’s mouth between gums and cheek for 15 seconds. Do this for each of two swabs. Let sample dry before mailing in return packaging.”

Mom laughed and laughed. She giggled out things like, “Oh, my! (He He!) Swab the dog’s cheek?! How about, Chase the dog around the house and retrieve swab from dog’s grip. (Ha Ha!) Or Return mangled swabs for full refund. (He He He He!!!)”

She Forgot how brave I Am! Mom2 held me still while Mom put the Stick Thingie in my mouth. It tickled but it did not hurt. The DNA went in the Mail. Mom says when we hear from the DNA People we will know my Heritage and Mr. P. Nut Squirrel will let me run for Vice President. (I don’t know what that is either but I’ll figure it out.)

Until next time.


P.S. I think I am an Irish Wolfhound. I feel kind of Wolfy nearly every day!!!

17 Responses

  1. theguster

    Arya, it would seem as if you have a shoe fetish. Or are you just keeping busy till you find out the results of your DNA test?

    McDuff & Mom

  2. Arya, I haven’t taken a DNA test, but a breeder told my Mom that aside from being Rescue breed, I’m probably a Border Collie. Mom says that even though it’s good to know your heritage, what matters is the Love you bring. So I bring lots of Love, and I get lots of Love in return — especially Chicken! Hope you enjoy your results.

    Love, Sheena & Mom

      1. Thanks, Arya. We’d have to get acquainted slowly, because I get frightened of new people. Some other dogs beat up on me one time and now I’m very afraid. But you sound like someone who could be a friend. Good luck on your campaign!

  3. Arya, your mom must be reading you adventure stories about dogs. You have such great aspirations. But I must remind you that with these aspirations comes great responsibility. Do not take them lightly. Whatever your DNA tells us about yourself, remember what is important is the kind of dog you choose to be. Some day maybe I will tell you about my DNA tests. Blessings!

      1. I’m a European Mutt, no kings or queens or elegant traits, and I’ll never make it to the dog shows… But I love to play catch and fetch (if someone else is doing the fetching) and read and curl up and take naps in the sun… And I love people regardless of their pedigree. And unlike you perhaps, I don’t like chasing squirrels. I like to make friends with them because they like nuts and I like nuts and they like acorns and some of my hooman friends like acorn soup (which done right can be very good) and because they can climb trees. I’ve never been a very good climber but I like they can see so much more than I can and they can tell me all about the world around me.

  4. Deborah

    Dear Wolfy, I have read this three times today while traveling and laughed every time!

    You AND your moms are brave to do this work. I helped my auntie do a DNA test recently. She had to spit into a little tube til it was full. We laughed. I do not know the results yet I am pretty sure she is hooman.

    The best breed is a Love Dog. You and Jack are that. Love Dogs come in many shapes, sizes, colors. Some bark. Some control their barks and just growl a little to tell Mom “Look!”

    I am thinking a lot about Basenji. You look Basenji.

    I saw a HUGE wall painting of a red squirrel today. The painting is called a mural. I will send it later. Could it be Mr. P Nut???

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