BREAKING NEWS: Report from Camp Tracy

Jack and Arya have have returned from their Memorial Day holiday at Camp Tracy. They are both tired and need baths.

The following Report was received from Tracy, founder and proprietor of the camp:

When we first got to my house and I got out of the car to open the gate, Arya jumped out of the car, peed, and then got back in the car. Then I drove in the driveway.

The first night, Arya and Maggie (the golden retriever) were still wrestling at 1:30 a.m.

One day while I went out to run an errand, I came back and Jack had gotten stuck in the bathroom. Another time I came home and the bathroom door was shut but he wasn’t in it. I don’t know how he does that!?!?

Jack and Arya played ALL the time with Maggie. Even Jack wrestled with her. Plus, I love to watch Arya and Jack wrestle — they lie on the floor and chew on each others’ heads.

Driving them home they started to whine a bit when I turned into your neighborhood. (Not because I took the turn wild either. They usually quickly lie down in the car and don’t pay attention.) When I turned onto your street they went nuts, whining loudly, and both were standing on their back legs looking out the windows. Funny pups!

Jack and Arya had this to say, “Thank you Tracy. We had a blast!”

Neighborhood Watch: Return of the Tortoise

Thursday, 6:32 a.m. (CDT). Morning rounds.

Back yard intruder. Emergency personnel approached loudly and carefully.

Supervisor called emergency personnel to return to post and leave intruder alone.

Emergency personnel ignored supervisor until Treats were promised.

Intruder was relocated to a nearby safe and compatible habitat outside the fence.

Thursday , 6:38 a.m. (CDT). Emergency status terminated and Treats supplied.

A Possum Tail in Three Parts

A Haiku Story by Jack

Part 1: Pre-Dawn Racket

Fresh in the pre-dawn
A Varmint in our backyard
We wake the neighbors

Part 2: Afternoon Raid

Quiet afternoon
Possum cornered: bark, bark, bark
Mom’s Varmint rescue

Part 3: The End of the Tail

Pest control men here
We are shut up in the house
They search the crawl space

Pest control men leave
No sign of den in our house
Bye bye, men and truck

Pest control men back
Dead possum found at neighbor’s
We did not do it.

RIP Possum

Love,
Jack

A Public Service Announcement

Jack and Arya are working hard at their seasonal job at Camp Tracy’s. They said to tell you that they’ll be back soon. In the meantime, may all your treats be yummy!

The Management

Dear Diary, Love, Mom

Dear Diary,

I might be getting to old for these neighborhood patrol duties. The other day, I had to rescue the dadgum possum in the back yard – again. This was the second possum rescue in two months. (At least this one was in the afternoon and not at 5:30 a.m.)

I was alerted by my neighborhood patrol colleagues that there was an intruder in the back yard. Why the possum chose to take a stroll across the yard in the middle of the afternoon, I have no idea.

Jack and Arya had the possum surrounded on the path and were barking to wake the napping. Jack was creeping closer and closer — and my calls for them to come to me were totally ignored.

The possum was not playing dead — she had her head up and was showing her teeth. I could just imagine her biting one of them. So I came up behind Jack and grabbed him by the tail. I pulled him to me, picked him up, and hightailed it for the back yard gate. Once the two canines were with me on the house side of the gate, I closed it so the possum could continue wherever she was going.

Someone told me later that possums eat lots and lots of ticks. If so, I’m grateful to her. But I don’t want any more possum rescues. Please, Ms. Possum. Stay out of the back yard. And please, Jack and Arya, no more possum hunting!

Love,
Mom